| McKinsey Classics | May 2022 |
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| Let’s say you’re facing a “difficult conversation”—for example, informing a colleague that you’ll have to pull out of an important meeting the two of you have been planning for weeks. You start by baldly stating that you can’t attend it. Behavioral research shows that the other person’s brain then goes on defense, diverting scarce mental energy by launching an automatic “snap, sulk, or skulk” mode. Emotionally sophisticated neural machinery shuts down, and the quality of work declines. |
| But suppose you take a different tack. You start by saying nice things about that person’s work. Then you add that you want to spend more time with your son, and it’s really important for you to participate in a tennis match with him that conflicts with the meeting, so you won’t be able to attend it. Your coworker thinks, “Wonderful! He’s such a great parent.” Both parties to the conversation remain on a high level of mental energy. You have just learned the “positive no” technique. |
| Simple communication tweaks based on behavioral research can nudge employees into top form and create a more productive environment. For more, read our 2016 classic “How small shifts in leadership can transform your team dynamic.”
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| — Roger Draper, editor, New York |
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| Did You Miss Our Previous McKinsey Classics? |
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| Stories help build organizations and lead them through times of change. To learn the four principles that make such narratives effective, read “The power of storytelling: What nonprofits can teach the private sector about social media.”
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